elementarymydeer | (no subject)

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I've always wanted feet to match my personality.

[Snickers, flopping onto his side]

[ pats his hair like a kitty while he's flopped ]

[Very fluffy, very kitty. Imitates a purr.]

Who's cute and fluffy~

Meeeee.

It's youuu~

That's the real reason I'm at risk of being tossed overboard, you see.

Too cute and too fluffy?

And they aren't allowed to pet. It's maddening, I'm sure.

Coping with disappointment builds character.

And yet...I have no received a single 'thank you' for my public service.

People hate building character.

Some people are practically allergic to it.

If they liked it, it wouldn't build any character!

[Stretches out with a noise of agreement]

Perhaps I should host a blind dating event to help them assess how much personality they have. Appeal is important. Especially in small spaces.

I dunno if we wanna encourage that sort of behavior...

Is it encouraging it or just helping direct the traffic?

Making yourself the eye of the storm.

...............................

I'm going to put that idea on the shelf until I can find someone else to host it.

Whaaat, you don't wanna be the first person in the line of sight for a bunch of desperate romantics?

[Attempts to slowly push him off the bed]

[ slooowly tipping over ]

After spending so much time together, I choose~ our lovely host~~

Be nice.

[Does not let up]

[ oozes off the bed with no resistance ]

You're just cursed. Too handsome.

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